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I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Werd.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Hi, you’re new in Samos, aren’t you? How about we go back to my place and I’ll show you some of my theorems? One’s got a square root in it. No, I’m not drunk. Not yet.
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Pythagoras
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These are my sons, Picket Fence and Some Rope Tied Between Two Trees. Now ask me if I’m a proud father.
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Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson
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Oh, yeah? Dit-dit-dot, dit-dot-dit, dit, dit! I just sent you a message via jerkography.
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Guglielmo Marconi
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Please, William. I know that mountain range looks like it’s giving the finger, but lets not name it that. Sacajawea, what’s it called in Shoshone? Oh. Well, then William, I stand corrected.
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Meriwether Lewis
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I’m gonna put his ass where his head is and then we’ll see who looks more like a scarface.
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Alphonse Gabriel Capone
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Eva, come to the bedroom. I’ve written a follow-up novel. It’s called Mein Pants.
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Adolf Hitler
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Okay, we’re shutting down the scary sandwich exhibit. I know, I’m disappointed too. But people prefer bearded women to moldy bread. No, I wouldn’t eat it. Let’s dispose of it properly.
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Phineas Taylor Barnum
